Thursday, August 27, 2009

Holy Shit! :)

Second Beta
The results of the second beta are in and I am so excited that I can't stop grinning. Sooooooo, what was the number you ask? TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY SIX!!! From 90 to 246...doubling time of 33 hours. Un-freaking believable!! Okay. Calm. Faith. Calm. Breathe. Grin! I am so very full of hope. I just hope it doesn't all come crashing down...hmmm, like how many times before? Faith. Calm. Breathe. Next beta isn't for a full week. Thankfully school starts next week, so at least a little distraction. Not that I can concentrate on preparing for school! Calm. Breathe.

Spent the first part of the day trying to be calm in anticipation of the beta. Very hard to do. Did get some cleaning and organizing done! Eventually laid on the couch and kept repeating "Faith. Calm." Spent the second part of the day alternating between grinning incessantly and trying to be calm. Spent time in the garden. Pet the cat. Read stuff for school out in the sun (well, as much as possible). Now, how do I keep this up for a week?!?

I have been so amazingly blessed with a supportive husband and great friends (both IRL and on-line). Made me cry today with happiness seeing all the words of excitement and support from so many people on FB. Dh keeps saying sweet things to the little M&Ms. Hope they are burying in nicely and getting cozy. So many people all around the world are rooting for our little embryos and sending prayers and good wishes. Amazing. Comforting. I need to remember just how lucky I am in so many ways to have such earnest, loving, heart-felt support. Thank you.


  1. So so so excited to hear you so happy!!!! And excited!!!! And your second number just rocks my socks in so many ways.

  2. I am very much glad to read that you have permagrin. And I sincerely hope it lasts for many months to come... and years thereafter. Congrats darlin!

  3. YAY!!!! I am sooooo happy for you :) It's so wonderful to see news like this. Amazing!! I remember having the same feelings of "well I shouldn't get to happy because I've lost so many" but I think that the excitement and happiness is just impossible to curb. I was once told by someone who had read a lot of my journey, that I just needed to take a deep breath, love the new baby and enjoy the excitement and stop worrying about what could be and the if's ... trying to protect myself wasn't going to work, I had the knowledge that things may not work again, but if I didn't stop and enjoy the moment then what was the point?


    Happy ICLW :)


    That's a HUGE number! Congratulations!! Sending you two little M&M's vibes so they stay put for a nice long 9 month ride.

  5. I wanted to add this... My numbers were low with my 2 yr old and I thought based on them that I was going to end up m/c and then they picked up... My numbers were super high with my youngest too and I swore he was going to be twins. I was secretly disappointed when he wasn't too. LOL ...

    Anyway, Replying to your note... yes, apparently pee can be REALLY exciting - I never thought I would be so happy to see a wet diaper! LOL..

    And as for being positive, it's just who I am I think. When I was told my 7 yr old had his rare genetic disorder, I cried, sure.. but I didn't go through the poor me's (actually I probably did, but I don't remember) ... I just wanted to find out as much as I could about it and deal with it. I met the genetic DR and was told he would die and I said "that's not necessarily true" and secretly I was so scared that I didn't buy baby stuff for him to prepare, just stuff we really needed to bring him home - a lot of stuff we were given, and I only got used preemie clothes (knowing he'd be small), but what I always said was ... "I will love this baby for however long I have him, if it be a minute, or a lifetime." All I wanted to do was hold him once while he was alive and hear him cry... and I've gotten so much more now :) Miracles happen and DRs don't know everything. That's what I've learned most on my journey!! :)

  6. You have an award on my blog :) Please stop by to pick it up and don't forget to pass it along!! Enjoy!!

  7. Oh, this is a very happy ICLW for you! Congrats! and may your betas double and double.

  8. That's amazing news! CONGRATS! You give me hope. Hope you have a great weekend, savor the excitement, you deserve it!